May 31, 2014

What Are We Chasing

This blog post has also been posted at http://restorationworshipblog.blogspot.com/2014/05/what-are-we-chasing.html

I have been blessed in my life to be afforded the opportunity to be involved in church planning. By that I mean I have led worship teams, been on worship teams, helped plan youth events, got to be in conversations about the direction of the church, and have been involved in a greater community of ministers and church musicians thanks to social media. I love thinking and dreaming about the future of the church, I love that people who play music in church take it seriously, and I love that people who serve (preachers, musicians, greeters, planners, sound engineers, light guys, designers, videographers, photographers, ect.) are always aiming to  get better at what they do! I honestly believe that the glory of God's name deserves the best that we can give and not a "good enough for church" mentality. The King of Kings deserves above and beyond and not just "good enough".

There is a danger in all of this that I think anyone who has ever been involved in planning understands; it is all too easy to miss the purpose of it all in the midst of the details. Our conversations start talking about the details: which songs we sing, what guitar pedals we use, what colors the lights are, budget issues, what we could buy to do church better, what the preacher/worship leader could do better, and what kind of coffee is best. All these things should be considered by the appropriate people, but the danger comes in dwelling on the details.

I recently went to a wedding which may have been the most beautiful and thought out weddings I have ever been to! After the ceremony we went outside for the reception and one of the bridesmaids joined us at the table. She started talking about all the things that went wrong and all the details that didn't get finished. I was thinking, "Are you kidding me?! One of the most beautiful and sweetest weddings I have ever been to and all you can do is think about the details that don't matter." I wish she could have enjoyed the wedding day just like had!

I find that I often do the same thing in church. I get consumed with doing my job on that day, that I forget why I am there. And the danger in planning that way is that neither people nor attendance rise because of these details.
A well-produced service can't save anyone. Guitar tone doesn't bring people in the doors. A cool video cannot deliver anyone from darkness. Only the presence of God can do it. 

Gold has been stirring this in my heart over the past week. I spent most of the week doing design work for the church, and I know that was important. But I know nothing was as important as Wednesday night when then people of God were declaring "it is well" and he met us in that place.

If God has given vision for a big, powerful, and influential church it will never happen through great programs but only by the presence of God. When you hear the stories from guys like Bill Johnson at Bethel Church coming up and the new wave that began at the virtually unknown Toronto Airport Vineyard Church with Randy Clark who no one knew 20 years ago you begin to understand that the Lord blesses the people that value his presence with his presence and that people come and are delivered as a result!

So let's have a renewed pursuit of the presence of God instead of a pursuit of better services. Let's go after God instead of cooler songs. He is all we need

-Patrick Hawkins

Feb 11, 2014

The Rule of the Kingdom

Last night I got the chance to share a little bit about prayer. It was nice to change it up and speak instead of lead worship for a night! I thought I would share this with y'all!

Sep 20, 2013

Why I Appreciate My Church of Christ Heritage

As many of you know, but some of you may not, I was brought up in the Churches of Christ and membership goes a few generations deep on either side of my family.  As I grew up and began studying and exploring on my own, I came to different conclusions than what the mainstream Church of Christ fellowship believes. After a few years I ended up attending a different fellowship. Many people who go through this experience become bitter and only find negative things to say, and to be honest, I went through a similar season. But as I was thinking the other day, I am very glad that I grew up in the Churches of Christ and thought I would share why I am so thankful!

  1. I am thankful for being taught the importance of correct doctrine: The Bible has a teaching on the subjects it speaks about. There is a doctrine and proper Biblical understanding of subjects like grace, salvation, baptism, marriage, and many other subjects. There are many who believe we should disregard these things for the sake of unity. While I don't believe we can ever fully understand a subject like grace, we should never simply give up but seek to know the truth. Even though we may not always believe the same things about different points of doctrine, I am glad we can still be united in Christ!
  2. I am thankful for being taught the importance of the Bible: It is astonishing to me the amount of young people I meet who don't know how to find a verse in the Bible. Of course this issue transcends many fellowships and denominations including the Churches of Christ and it is probably a due to a combination of issues. I am thankful that I grew up in churches where we studied the Bible and learned about the major stories and themes of the Bible! I was taught to use the Bible as a grid for my life and worship and continue to do this into my young adulthood!
  3. I am thankful for the opportunity to learn the hymns: The hymns are great! Though I got really tired of singing exclusively hymns week after week, I am very grateful that I know them. I woke up singing "Living By Faith" the other day and it struck me how powerful those lyrics were. If I walk by faith, I can trust in him and I don't have to worry about the situations and circumstances in life. I love to revisit the hymns with fresh eyes. They are rich and full of beautifully expressed truth! I've also been enjoying "He's My King!"
  4. I am thankful for simplicity in worship: This may seem odd to some people. Currently I play or sing in three different worship bands regularly and I love it! I love getting to play that roll of leading others in worship. But the setup and time investment for practice time is astronomical in comparison. I love that we don't need all of that to worship God and I am glad I learned that from an early age. Some days it is nice just to sing to Him with nothing but my voice. Other times, it is great to have my acoustic guitar or a full band!
  5. I am thankful for the community and sense of belonging: Some of my favorite memories growing up in the Churches of Christ is community of "likewise believers" that I got to fellowship with. I always enjoyed area-wide fellowships and singings. But nothing could match the excitement of church camp and the area wide youth singing group called the Singing Youth of Denver. I loved hanging out with kids my age who loved God and believed the same things I did.
I know some people may think that I have some sort of animosity or distain for the Churches of Christ, like many people do. In reality, I am thankful for my upbringing and the role of the Churches of Christ in it and I am thankful for the part they play in the Body of Christ! If you are part of the Churches of Christ, know that I love you all and pray nothing but blessings upon you!

“My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one—I in them and you in me—so that they may be brought to complete unity. Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me." John 17:20-23

Aug 15, 2013

Cigarettes and Glory

**There is a point to all of this at the end**
My wife and I are driving back home from an anniversary trip to Cedar Point in Sandusky, Ohio. We had a great time riding some incredible roller coasters!



While we were on the way there, we had a little accident. All of a sudden the roads were wet and I didn't think anything of it until we hydro-planed and started spinning down the Kentucky interstate at 75mph. Instincts kicked in and I turned the wheel into the curve and braced for impact. We finally slid into the mud and grass in the middle and came to a stop.


I knew no one anywhere close by, I had no tools, and I had on white tennis shoes. We were STUCK! Thankfully some people stopped and called their dad who had a truck that pulled us out. The car ran fine so we drove to the next exit to check it out. I realized my bumper and wheel well were dragging, but I had no way to fix it without tools.
A guy pulled up and got out of his car smoking a cigarette and wearing a Budweiser shirt. I told him what happened and he said, "I bet that scared the shit out of you!" I said, "Yes sir, it did!" So let's review. This man smokes, I assume by his shirt that he drinks, and he just cussed. All the things I am not supposed to do as a Christian.
The guy offered to help and I reluctantly agreed. He proceeded to check it out and went to get his wife and some wire from his house. Then we tied everything up and followed him to his shop to take a better look because he insisted. 

When we got there, I told him it drove great and thanked him for his help. But he insisted that we take a look under the lights in his shop and he got to work! We were probably there for an hour and a half until it was all bolted back together and strong as it was brand new! I was not expecting all of this at all. I was even trying to go on, but he wasn't quitting until it was done right. The whole think probably took 3hrs. 

After talking, for a while when we were tying up the bumper, they find out that I am a studying to be a minister. He tells me his nephew is studying to be a minister as well and I ask where. He says at a place called The Ramp (a relatively well-known church in my circle of friends and churches). I am surprised because, after all, this guy smokes, drinks, and cusses! Then I find out he himself is a Christian! 
And then I am ashamed for assuming otherwise. I have never seen another person be so determined to go the extra mile and love a person they have never met before, and I can't imagine that I was the first or the last person to ever receive that treatment! I assumed he was not a Christian because of three things he did that we count as the typical sinful lifestyle (when, in fact, most of these things are arguably not even "sins"). I don't smoke, I've never drank a beer in my life, and I don't make a habit of cussing. But I seriously don't think I would ever do what this man did for me. 

The Point: Maybe we should spend less time worrying about people drinking a beer and spend more time figuring out how to love our neighbors, go the extra mile, and help those who can't help themselves.

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." James 1:27

Orphans and widows were the helpless in James' day. I think I counted as helpless on that day and I'm thankfully someone cared enough to help!

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Jun 27, 2013

A Kingdom of Weirdos

The Kingdom belongs to the weirdos.

From the beginning, the Kingdom was not made up of the elite in society. It was made up of people who were whores, tax collectors, drunkards, and common fishermen. The elite didn't have much interest in the kingdom and often left when it called for too much sacrifice. Throughout his ministry, Jesus seemed to be a lot more concerned with the outcasts and his buddies were the ones no one wanted to hang out with. Not to mention the eccentric characters (i.e. John the Baptizer, aka the bug-eating wilderness man). I think this is clearly seen with Jesus' conversation with  the Samaritan woman at the well.

On his journey, Jesus goes through Samaria and to a town called Sychar. Not much until your realize that Samaria was the scorn of the Jews and Sychar was regarded as the worst town in Samaria. The worst town in the worst country in the world. So Jesus walks straight there and gets to the well at noon. In those days, hoses didn't have plumbing for baths or drinking or cooking water. women would get their water from a well. Usually they would go in the morning, when it wasn't blazing hot like it has been lately, but at noon a woman comes walking up. A woman who was talked about, cold shouldered, and treated so badly by the Sycharians that she would carry gallons of water for a good distance in the heat of the day. Jesus also perceives that she has had 5 husbands and is living with a man who is not her husband. We often lump her in with the other whores and loose women, but woman in the that time couldn't divorce her husband. This means that this woman was forsaken and betrayed five times and the guy she was living with wouldn't even give her the respect of marrying her. The most scorned group of people even rejected her because of things that were out of her control.
First of all, she was a woman and it was scandalous for a man to talk to her. Second, she was a Samaritan, one from Sychar at that, and Jesus was a Jew. Third, she was a used and abused woman who was the outcast of an outcast society. Jesus reputation was on the line. What was his decision?
Jesus talked to this woman. Not only that he offered her the Living Water and showed an interest in her. He even had a word of knowledge for her and told her that God was seeking worshipers from all peoples and nations, even the Samaritans. When the disciples came back, they didn't understand why he was talking to her, but she went away rejoicing. She told many people, brought them to Jesus, and many were saved.

What should we do with weirdos? Forget your reputation and talk to them. Tell what Jesus has done for you. And as a result, many may be saved.

The kingdom is a place where whores become evangelists. Fishermen and crooked bill collectors become apostles. Law enforcers become powerful preachers who are thrown into prison for it. The poor become rich in Christ and the sick are healed. The kingdom of God is for the weirdos.

These are the people that God cares about. These are his precious ones. These are the ones who need Him. Us middle class, white people in the USA are excited if someone cracks a smile in our church. Churches in the poorest places in Africa have the greatest joy on the planet and are the fastest growing as well. Maybe Jesus had the right idea. a kingdom full of people who actually wanted and needed him.

Jesus proclaimed his mission when he read from the prophet Isaiah, who was speaking of him, in Luke 4:18-19

      “The Spirit of the LORD is upon me,
             for he has anointed me to bring Good News to the poor.
      He has sent me to proclaim that captives will be released,
             that the blind will see,
      that the oppressed will be set free,
             and that the time of the LORD’s favor has come.”

A kingdom of weirdos.

May 23, 2013

Sermon: Prayer

Amazing what you find sometimes. I found this hidden away and I sure needed to hear it. My own sermon on Prayer from two summers ago! A sermon I preached during my internship during the summer of 2011 at Hawley Church of Christ in Hawley, TX.

Feb 10, 2013

Lines of Fellowship


While I was driving to school last week I started thinking about why people draw “lines of fellowship” in the Church. I remember growing up and we didn't work together or fellowship with this church or that one because they clapped after baptisms or ate during Wednesday Bible class. As crazy as that sounds, there were churches that didn't fellowship with us because we were too “liberal”, after all, we had more than one communion cup.
Maybe you go to a church that is more “free” in their expression of worship but you have a hard time seeing people that don’t express themselves like you do, or even think it is wrong to, as part of the same body of Christ.
I read an article recently that was an extreme example of this. A church actually picketed, threw rocks through windows, and eventually split up and stopped fellowshipping all because of the spelling of the word “hallelujah” (or “alleluia”) on a banner in the church. I think we have gotten off track somewhere.
While I was in my truck on the way to school thinking about these things, I remembered a section of scripture in Romans 14. Paul was dealing with a church composed of people who were religiously Jewish in their recent past and people who obeyed the Gospel out of a Gentile context without any organized religious laws. The Jews were fully convinced that they needed to continue to keep the Sabbath day and abstain from eating foods that were sacrificed to idols. Then they wanted to impose these things on the Gentile believers who had no desire or reason to keep those laws. The Gentiles wanted to be free from the Jewish ways and rightly believed that they could because of Christ. Sounds like a lot bigger mess than the people in the church down the street clapping or raising their hands (or not doing that). Paul’s response was not, “Well you guys better restrain yourselves and keep the Sabbath and not eat that meat so you don’t upset them.” Instead he said,
“Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind. The one who observes the day, observes it in honor of the Lord. The one who eats, eats in honor of the Lord, since he gives thanks to God, while the one who abstains, abstains in honor of the Lord and gives thanks to God.”
He also said if it grieves your brother to eat, then we are not walking in love, but he also says not to let what is good be spoken of as evil. The Kingdom is not ultimately about these little issues, but about righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit. Paul wraps up by with a challenge for the church: 
So then let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding.”
Let’s aim for peace and encouragement in the church and unity under Christ!

Oct 25, 2012

"New Law" and Perfect Sinners


I have always known about the rules. There were always rules and most of them were about what you could not do or, if they were something you could do, they always started with the word only. We always used to talk about how God gave such specific instructions to his people in the Old Testament so he obviously must have the same amount of specific details for us to follow in the New Testament. After all, that was the Old Law and we are now under the New Law. So we found all kinds of small verses, inferences, and examples from what the early church did and turned those things into the law. We made laws about communion (number of cups, the only day it could be taken, the appropriate words during the prayer, who is allowed to pass the plates, and the frequency), worship (the only acceptable method, posture, and day), the order of salvation, how and when we are required to give, and a number of other things all based off of inferences and examples which were in the midst of a particular set of circumstances. When we look at the context of the entire story of God and his redemptive plan, and especially the incarnation, death, and resurrection of Christ, something just does not jive.
The point of Christ was never to take away the Old Law and create a “New Law”. That is almost the exact opposite of what he came to do and I think he grieves for his children when they come under this deception. Christ came to bring something different. I think John puts it well when he says in John 1:17, “ For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ.” The Law came through Moses; it was not the “Old Law”, it was the law. Jesus brought something new and different: grace and truth. He came and defeated sin on the cross. Hebrews 10:11-14 teaches us that his sacrifice makes us righteous and justified once and for all. This does not mean “once saved, always saved” as some would have us believe, because verse 26 says if we willfully go on sinning we lose the effects of this sacrifice, but it defeats the idea of “once saved, barely saved” that many of us carry. Some would have us believe if we mess up any of these “New Laws” then we are in a state of damnation until we pray a prayer of repentance. Christ sacrifice is much more powerful than that.
People who come to us need to know that their salvation is weighty and strong. Christ paid a great deal for our salvation and defeated death on the cross. The salvation he paid for is once and for all. That means two thousand years ago he made a self-sacrifice that would never again have to be repeated. This one sacrifice is the atonement for every sin you have ever committed. For many people this is a somewhat easy stage to get to, but many people that come to us keep messing up and are coming to us looking for help. They come with lots of guilt and shame because, though they are saved and their past sins are forgiven, they cannot stop from sinning. They have the expectation that they should be past their sin. We need to share these verses with these people; they need to know that Christ has already made them perfect and that it is both okay and expected that they are in process. The process proves they are perfected. The Hebrew writer says it so well in verse 14: 
“For by a single offering he has perfected for all time those who are being sanctified”
We often think when we mess up that God is angry at us. I have believed in my past that if I died after I had messed up without saying a prayer of repentance that I would be damned to hell. What we often do not realize, and what people who come to us need to realize, is that salvation is much bigger and wider than we have often understood it. Sanctification is a part of our salvation. Because we are saved, God is making us holy. When we mess up, see that we have messed up, and are convicted to change it we should rejoice. This does not mean we are screwed up, it means that we are perfect and that God, through his matchless grace, is making us holy.

Sep 28, 2012

Recieve the Word

This is an assignment for my Christian Counseling class. It is a reflection on James 1:22-25 (really vs. 19-26). The first part is personal reflection and the second part is how I would use it in counseling someone else. Just thought I would share
I grew up as a church kid. I was in the doors of the church building just as soon as my parents could bring me. Every time the doors were opened I was there, whether I wanted to be or not. I heard a lot of preaching. I heard a lot of Bible class teaching. I heard scripture, Bible stories, funny stories, good ideas, good theology, bad theology, and everything in between. When I was a young boy I loved it, but as time went on I began to despise going to church. I did not enjoy it and nothing was produced in me. I was blessed with parents who loved God and loved me, but I did not have and supernatural blessing of fruit springing forth from my life. I went to church and I did not cuss, drink, do drugs, or have sex. I thought I was being a doer of the word.
Something changed in my heart. I wish it was a fanciful story that happened in the midst of worship one night, but it did not happen like that. The first time I was awakened that there was more to God than church was in worship at a summer camp, but the road was longer than that. Jesus changed my heart and my actions. Deep inside I felt like I would never be able to be a good Christian because I could never measure to the perfection that I always heard about and that was portrayed by so many people I saw around me, but God taught me about a relationship with him. He showed me that true worship required more of me than singing a song in the correct form; it meant presenting myself as a living sacrifice before my king and singing with a heart full of love, joy, adoration, and praise during those times of corporate worship.
I thought I was being a doer of the word, but I did not know what being a doer of the word really meant. It means being quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger, putting away filthiness and rampant wickedness, and receiving the word. When I began to receive the word and let it transform me, blessing began to flow out. When I step where God has spoken, blessing flows out. When I let anger and my ideas rise to the top, blessings are stopped up.
Many people who come to us with problems are those who are in church. They sit through all kinds of services and seminars and hear the word. These people still come to us because their lives are a mess. Often we blame the word they are hearing and try to develop more relevant curriculum for students and preach in a more engaging manner. The problem is not always presentation; the problem is often a failure to receive the word. We do not need to send people to read more books and hear more sermons. We need to teach people how to receive the word.
The people who come to us must learn to let God transform their hearts. When they read scripture, hear a sermon, or read from a book, they need to let those words penetrate their hearts. This happens when they take the word they have heard and meditate upon it. When hearts are transformed and the word is received, blessings can begin to flow. The blessing of Spirit-empowered transformation can happen. The angry person who explodes with rage can become a peaceful listener when the word is received.
Often times we hear a word from the Lord, we know it is from the Lord, and we still do not receive it. James reminds us that we are only deceiving ourselves. We cannot think ourselves to be Christians if we sit in church and hear great messages but continue in filthiness, rampant wickedness, and raging anger. We must learn to, through the blessing of the Spirit-empowered life, to sin longer and partake in the righteousness given to us in Christ Jesus.
God has transformed me. When I began to receive his word deep into my heart, I was able to give up my raging anger, secret pornography addiction, and live in the blessing of which James speaks. I went from despising church meetings to actively being a part. Fruit is now produced through my life because I am where he has told me to be and am living by the word he has spoken. The blessing still leaves me when I leave partnership with him and do not receive the word and do not participate in what he has said.

Aug 31, 2012

What To Do With Weariness


This is an assignment for my Christian Counseling class. It is a reflection on Psalm 32. The first part is personal reflection and the second part is how I would use it in counseling someone else. Just thought I would share
I am the righteousness of Christ. God has predestined me, called me, saved me, and given me a purpose in life. He has me going along a path in my life and he has blessed me beyond measure. I actually have his Spirit and presence dwelling right inside of me, and he works in and through me in mighty ways. God is incredibly good.
Yet, more often than I like to admit, it seems that a gap appears between all these truths and my own experience. One of my core beliefs is that we should be going somewhere in our Christian walk. We should be headed somewhere and be getting farther along and growing as time goes on. Many times I see people in our Sunday morning assemblies who, week after week, come to the Lord broken, in need of prayer, confessing sin, and weeping at the altar. Then the next week they are right back there doing the same thing. This happens for weeks on end. I believe we should be going somewhere. Christ fixes us and doesn’t leave us broken when we come to him, he works when we pray, he forgives our sin when we confess it, and he wipes our tears when we weep. I do not want to be one of these people who seems to be stuck in a cycle. I want to move forward. Yet sometimes I think I am farther along than I am and kid myself into thinking I cannot and do not mess up.
A year or so ago, everyone I met called me a man of peace. I had the peace of God so alive in my heart that I could not be shaken. I remember they found a mass on my dad’s pancreas, but I was not shaken. I trusted God, and he took care of it. People who met me would always comment on it, even nonbelievers. They could not understand how I did not get bothered or upset by anything; the only thing they could come up with is that I smoked a lot of marijuana, but I would simply tell them the Prince of Peace dwelt inside of me. Lately I have been stressed, tired, and easily frustrated. I have sinned against the Lord through my own rebellion and going my own way. I have tried to do things on my own and stepped out of partnership with him. I have felt weary and without strength. Yet when I finally came to him, really and truly I found that rest. I found the blessing, relief, and joy. Blessed be our God.
I do not believe I am the only one who has felt this way. Many times leaders, church volunteers, worship leaders, teachers, pastors, preachers, professors, and many other people feel like they have gotten somewhere and to have sinned or fallen is unthinkable at their current point. It would be healthy to look at sin not as going backwards, but as simply veering off track. I do not agree with the assumption of many that, because we are human, we will sin multiple times everyday; Christ has paid for our freedom and the Spirit empowers us. It is also foolish to think, as some do, that we will never sin because we do. As the first part of Psalm 32 say, we are blessed when we are forgiven and when the Lord has removed our transgressions.
Many times we get stuck in verse 3 and 4. We live under the weight of sin. We groan because we feel tired and frustrated and there is no relief. We even feel like the Lord is against us sometimes and start to question our calling and our standing before him. Yet we keep silent about our sin because we think we are beyond that. We think we have come to a point of sinlessness and falling would be inconceivable.
The good news is relief is available. Instead of remaining silent, as in verse 3, we should acknowledge our sin to God as in verse 5. We should lay our hearts open before the throne of God and hide nothing from him. He will forgive our sins when we come to him and confess our sins before him.
If we truly desire to be Godly, we have to come before him often in prayer is what verses 6 and 7 talk about. Our weariness and frustration comes if we do not do this because the storms of life come all the time. Things come at us and stress from work, school, bills, relationships, and other commitments can build up and make it seem like there is no getting out. Yet it seems we have a refuge and a hiding place always available and it is Him who sits on the throne. He will deliver us in no quiet or feeble manner!
Verses 8 and 9 say how he is to lead our lives. The will keep his eye and counsel on us as we follow his leading, but he will not if we go our own way. He will not force us to go his way, yet his presence, counsel, and peace lifts when we try to do things in our own strength and might. We must stay with him. Verses 10 and 11 remind us that there is sorrow in the lives of the wicked but we have joy when we walk with the lord. So when someone is under that weight and weakness, we could take them through this Psalm as I just have and remind them to be open before God and let him guide our path. Joy and relief will come!

Dec 23, 2011

Move That Mountain. (No really!)

He said to them, “Because of your little faith [you could not cast out this demon]. For truly, I say to you, if you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move, and nothing will be impossible for you.”
What are you thinking right now after reading this verse? A few weeks ago I remember listening to a sermon and a preacher read this verse and I was thinking, "There is no way I could really speak and a mountain would move. That's just mot possible." But immediately Holy Spirit said to me, "No, that is not true. This is my Word and it is true and it says that if you have faith like a mustard seed you can tell a mountain to move and it will move. This is true."
Okay.
I recognized something. I recognized that I didn't have faith. I'd seen God do some amazing things, but I was still lacking faith. I had also prayed for people and nothing happened. God was showing me that faith is the key here.
But there is a funny thing about faith and it is that I can't make it. I can't muster up or attain faith. God gives it. 1 Corinthians 12 has a long list of gifts of the Holy Spirit like healing, tounges, and miracles and in that list, faith is included. Faith is a gift from God and nothing else. So I asked for faith.
Less than a week later my friend was preaching at a church so a bunch of us went to support and pray for the people there during ministry time. Afterwards,  another friend of mine, Denis, came to me and said he had a headache and wanted me to pray for healing. After a second, I remembered this word God was speaking to me. I had asked for faith, and I had some. So I put my hand on his head and boldly, in faith I asked God to heal his headache and I told the headache to leave in the name of Jesus. After I was done, Denis looked up, sat there for a second, and then looked at me and said, "It's gone!" It was awesome and I shared what God was speaking.
That night he went home and prayed for his roommate who had a cold for a week and it immediately went away.
So right now it is headaches, fingers (maybe some on that later!), and colds. Tomorrow it's on to mountains. Either way, God Almighty is moving!

Nov 8, 2011

Walk In the Light (The Gospel from Creation)

This is my manuscript for my first in-class sermon for Introduction to Preaching" In the beginning there was darkness. There was no earth, only total and complete darkness; a darkness so thick that you wouldn’t be able to see your hand right in front of your face. Then the voice of God Almighty thundered through the darkness. With the Word of God creation took place. With the simple Word, light spewed forth from the mouth of God. This light came into creation and walked with his special creation: mankind. The light was bright among men and all creation but then darkness creeped into this picturesque creation. A snake slithered in and deceitfully convinced God’s special to rebel against him. God took care of this darkness and restored the light in part with some restrictions. But darkness came, yet again, into this existence. This darkness increased and the light decreased. Darkness overtook God’s special creation and God did something about it. God destroyed the creation that was overtaken by darkness and left the light. 
John 1:1-5 1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2He was in the beginning with God. 3 All things were made through him, and without him was not any thing made that was made. 4 In him was life, and the life was the light of men. 5 The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. 
Light again moved into the center stage. God’s special creation, mankind, again grew and populated the earth. God then chose a man and promised blessings over him and his supernaturally-provided family. Things were bright for a while but creation soon turned into a cycle of intense light followed by intense darkness. Light and then darkness. From light to dark and back again. Even when the light was bright, it only shined in one part of a dark world and was governed by the Law. And then it happened. God said, “I wish that one of you would just shut the temple doors,” and then he stopped speaking. Darkness seemed complete again. No words booming through the sky, no crazy prophets coming from the mountains, no dreams, no visions, and no still small voice. 420 years of complete silence and complete darkness. 
And then it happened again: a small light appeared in the distance. There was a crazy man in the woods that started talking about a light that was coming. He would say, “The light is coming! Prepare yourselves and repent! The kingdom of God is near! I am not the light, but the light is coming!” 
John 1:6-8 6There was a man sent from God, whose name was John. 7He came as a witness, to bear witness about the light, that all might believe through him. 8 He was not the light, but came to bear witness about the light. 
The light rested in Bethleham. The light of the world inside a small baby. The hope of glory and the bringer of grace and truth was inside the inconspicuous Jewish boy. No crowns, no jewels, no crowns. Just a seemingly regular Jewish boy. But this boy was anything but regular. He brought light to the world. He was the Word of God which lived among the very thing it created. Moses brought Law but he brought something different: grace and truth. He came to save the world and offered the chance for his special creation to become children of God and filled with light. But there is something funny about those who live in the darkness: they like it there. They rejected the opportunity to step into the light and looked for an opportunity to extinguish it. They eventually decided they would kill this Jewish man and that is exactly what they did. 
John 1:9-13 9 The true light, which enlightens everyone, was coming into the world. 10He was in the world, and the world was made through him, yet the world did not know him. 11He came to his own, and his own people did not receive him. 12But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God, 13who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God.
Again the world seemed plunged into darkness. This darkness was so complete that the sun wouldn’t show. Then one morning, one Sunday morning we will never forget, the tomb the buried that man in was empty. An angel stood close by and said that this man had risen from the dead! He was dead and now he was alive! This man appeared to his disciples and showed them that he was alive and they were amazed. Light burst forth from the empty tomb in the world and this light was placed into everyone who would simply believe this story, this crazy story that the Word of God came and lived with us and dwelt among us. That the light of the world took on complete darkness, died, with it, and defeated it by rising from the dead and leaving it in the tomb. Now we can all become children of God. We can receive a grace that was almost unimaginable before. No one has seen God our Father but he has been reveal to us through this light and Word in whom we have salvation! 
John 1:14-18 14And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth. 15( John bore witness about him, and cried out, "This was he of whom I said, 'He who comes after me ranks before me, because he was before me.'") 16And from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace. 17For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ. 18 No one has ever seen God; the only God, who is at the Father’s side, he has made him known. 
John paints a beautiful picture in this passage of the Gospel. The pure and simple Good News of Jesus Christ. From the beginning, he points back to creation showing how God was working throughout history to bring Jesus. Jesus was not plan B and was not the last resort. Jesus provides us with a unique opportunity to become children of God Almighty and carriers of the light just as he was. This was God’s plan from the very beginning. He put his son into his creation to redeem it and then plans to use his creation to spread the news about his son and about the light. 
We have all received this light and we all carry it inside of us. We are all minister of this light and have the amazing opportunity to be ministers of reconciliation by sharing this story with those around us and letting the light increase and pushing back darkness. We are called to live in a way that the world sees us as lights shining in the darkness. Like lighthouses on the shore, we should be guarding against the destruction of the world. 
Believe in this light and word as they are revealed to us in scripture. Accept the calling to which you were called and walk in light as carriers of light to bring those walking in darkness home to the Father. Today, walk with the Word and walk in Light.

Sep 11, 2011

What Is the Point of Creation?

I've been thinking about a question lately: what is the point of creation? It's popular to say that we were created for worship, but that doesn't make sense. Is God in need of approval, and especially if it is from His own creation? That would be silly!! So are we just here because God was bored one day in heaven and wanted to play some kind of real-time stragedy game like Age of Empires? No, I don't think any of these answers are very good. Today though, I think I may have found the answer.
Colossians 1:15-20 is a section of scripture about Christ. Part of verse 16 says, "For by him ... all things were created through him and for him." So creation is all for Jesus!
This might seem random from this point and disconnected, but just come along for the ride. When Creation happened, man was created on the sixth day and God said it was very good! Adam, as God's special creation, got the job of naming the animals. In the process, Adam found nothing that could be a companion and helper to him. Because of this God made Eve, a helper comparable to him.
So what does this have to do with Jesus? Well you see, Jesus is the last Adam. You and I are the Eve of all creation! We aren't just here to be God's toys. We are here to be in a relationship with his son, Jesus. All of creation is rushing towards the Marriage Supper of the Lamb (Rev 19:6-10). Like Eve we are created in the image of our bridegroom to be his helpers. We are not just supposed to get a ticket to Heaven, but we are actually Jesus helpers in building the Kingdom. And we aren't only helpers, but companions and partners with him!
You and I were not made to worship. We were made as the prize of the Alpha and Omega! We were made for relationship with Jesus and for his pleasure. How cool is that?! And if you doubt that Jesus is pleased with his bride... well I'll leave you with what Jesus (the bridegroom) thinks about you (the bride):

"You have captured my heart,
my treasure, my bride.
You hold it hostage with one glance of your eyes,
with a single jewel of your necklace. Your love delights me,
my treasure, my bride.
Your love is better than wine,
your perfume more fragrant than spices."

Song of Solomon 4:9-10 NLT
Jesus is captivated with just one single glance from you and by your love!!

Sep 7, 2011

Jesus. Only Jesus.

We are seeking satisfaction. We are seeking meaning, hope, a calling and fulfillment. We look for it in so many places. We try friendships and don't find fulness there.
And then comes a fork in the road.
Some go and try to find fulfillment in trying to gain as much pleasure and fun as they can in life. These people party till they drop. They drink, smoke, and shoot whatever they can. They have sex wherever they can get it. But at the end of the day, they are left feeling the same, or worse, when they started.
There is another group of people. They are like us. They sit by you in the pew every Sunday morning, Sunday night, and Wednesday night. These people are seeking to find rest in their good deeds. These people read their Bibles every day, go to every church meeting, pray for an hour every day, and never miss their communion on the "Lord's day". Some of these people fast one or two days a week every week or even more. They do service projects, work at church camps and volunteer organizations. After all this, they are still unfulfilled.
The thing is neither of these approaches are the answer. Both have elements of truth, but none have the fullness of truth. Fulfillment is found in one thing. It is found in doing the very thing we were created for. We were created to seek God and find him. (Acts 17:27) We were created for a relationship with Jesus. Eternal life IS KNOWING CHRIST! (John 17:3)
You see both of these methods have some truth, but not everything. God created man, including our desire for pleasure, and He said it was good! Satan just does a great job of providing counterfeit outlets for the God-given desires. Drugs and alcohol seem to match a desire, but it is a counterfeit for life in the Holy Spirit. Sex outside of marriage masquerades as a fulfillment for our desire for intimacy with Christ and a spouse. True pleasure is found no where except for Christ. It can't be found in church or in good deeds. It can't even be found in knowing about Christ!
Truth, fulfillment, meaning, calling, and life are found in only one place. The man Jesus is the source of life! He came to bring life,  and life to the full. So seek Jesus, not parties. Seek Jesus, not religion. Seek Jesus, not good deeds. Seek Jesus, not the miraculous. Seek Jesus, only Jesus! Find Jesus and you will find life.
"You search the Scriptures because you think that in them you have eternal life; and it is they that bear witness about me, yet you refuse to come to me that you may have life." John 5:39-40

Jul 4, 2011

SERMON: Prayer | 2011 July 3

This is the sermon I preached at Hawley Church of Christ yesterday on prayer and more specifically, some of the things we receive from the place of prayer. There are some awesome testimonies of answered prayers in there and some other good stuff! I turned the PowerPoint into a video and synced the sermon audio with it. I hope you gain something from it and let me know what you think.

Jan 9, 2011

Pay It Forward in 2011

I got this idea from my friend Lauren's blog here. Here's a link... shameless plug


"I promise to send something handmade
to the first 3 people who leave a comment here.


To be eligible, you must also post this in your blog, offering the same thing to 3 other people.
The rules are that it must be handmade by you and it must be sent to your 3 people *sometime* in 2011."

So when you comment, please leave your email so we can work out the details!

Oct 10, 2010

Mind Blown

Tonight I've just been reflecting on the past two weeks and God has just proved himself so good, faithful, and powerful! I thought I would share. I've been praying for the supernatural a long time. I believe it, I've seen it, and I've desired it but I've never experienced it for myself. Man has that changed!

I guess this story starts last Monday September 27, 2010 when a two ladies were praying over me and then after about five minutes, one of them asked me if I had any kind of sexual addictions. I said yes and she said that God had been speaking to her for five minutes that I was free. She said he bound it up and threw it into Hell! And He did! I had been doing better before, a lot better, but God has better plans. He never meant for us to struggle with some sin and repent, fail, repent, fail, repent, fail, and repent again. That is slavery not freedom. God freed me through his Spirit in an instant and I don't even have desire for it anymore! Living in freedom is amazing
Tuesday nigth rolls around and I got off work super early and went back to the prayer meeting. the guest speaker told us about a prophetic dream he had the night before about a mountain of God coming to Searcy and we were all like, "Yeah, we know." Then later on we had a "fire tunnel" where the pastors, leaders, and just crazy Spirit-filled people calling the fire of God down and just praying for us and speaking things over us. A guy told me that I was forgiven and my fried said I was a prophet to the nations and an apostle. Later on me and a friend were talking to someone about drunkedness in the Spirit and she prayed that we would recieve it and even just throughout the week. Then the guest speaker prayed over me creativity for the prayer room anf then to be a precher who is just filled with the Spirit and just spits out the Word (that I would eat the scroll and it would be sweet like honey, but bitter in my stomach so I spit it out). He also said that was a spiritual gift which is a confirmation for me. He also prayed prophesy, visions, and dreams over me.
Wednesday night at cell group, I heard the Lord for the first time. We were praying for a mission team going to Guatemala and broke up into groups. After my group was kind of done praying our leader just prayed and asked to Holy Spirit to reveal to us anything else we needed to pray for. So I closed my eyes, opened my hands, and listened. I immediatly heard. "Brandon" so I pressed in and asked what I needed to pray for. I justed heard feelings of insecurity about if people were supposed to go in the sense of preparedness or worthiness. So I just prayed about those insecurities. After I prayedBrandon said, "You know, it's weird that you prayed that because I've been feeling that way because I haven't been able to make it to all the meetings." I just sid, "Yeah, I heard your name. I just didn't say it..." That was pretty awesome!
On Friday I took a nap and had a dream about Dr. Burks soming to know the Holy Spirit in a whole new way after his wife dies and that it was going to be because of conversations with a woman who's name starts with an "A". I believe this was from God. Also Devin asked me if I wanted to speak at His devo the next Wednesday. That was my first chance after I was prayed over so it was a cool opportunity right away
On Saturday I was sitting in the identity corner of the prayer room and God gave me a revelation. I was just reading the words of identity that were written on the wall about us and realized something. All those things that we are, Jesus was. We inherit traits from Christ. In fact we are co-heirs with Christ and sons of God even. Everything that Christ is and was, we are!
The next Monday I woke up and had a picture in my head. It was a guy that looked so happy. He had a checklist above him with things like commands, his callings, and work that the Lord had given him with little checkboxes next to them that were all checked. There was a huge one that said "LOVE GOD" that was not checked. We can think we're doing great things but if we don't truely love God, then it doesn't matter.
Tuesday I got off work really early again and went to the prayer meeting. It was different this time and we were all just going to soak in God's presence together. Well it started that way and the Spirit was coming on me with like shakes and stuff and then it turned into a Holy Spirit dance party. Me and my friend that got prayed for a week before for the intoxication of the Spirit both got drunk in the Spirit and I got the Joy of the Lord and I was just laughing and laughing in the corner! And then a pastor friend and I went accross the street to a Baptist "Revival" (this is a story for another time). Needless to say it was awkward trying to hold in the Joy of the Lord!
On Wednesday I still had the Joy! People definiatly noticed. One of my friends asked what was wrong with me so I said I was hungover in the Spirit! I also got to preach and told them about God's heart for Searcy, Harding, and Kensett. I also told them about the mountain of God and prayer, intimacy, and worship. I told them some testimonies about healings (including a blind guy being healed the day before!), and my own deliverence and freedom. After that I went to cell and I got the Joy again when someone was praying. It was ridiculous!
On Friday someone asked me at work if I smoked pot. This may sound weird but it is a testimony. People have prayed, prophesied, and spoken about the peace the Lord has given me multiple times and I think he saw that! Along the same lines I got to be there for a friend who needed peace and pray for that in her life. I also got the pray for peace for another friend on Wednesday night come to think of it.
Today (Saturday) was celebrate:kingdom day. I got to help out in the community, prayer walk through neighborhoods aroung Harding and declare peace, freedom, love blessing, joy, boldness, and deliverence over those places and even discovered a hidden talent: facepainting! I met some good people today and helped plant some kingdom seeds.

God's been so good! He's just been giving me more revelations than I could put here and doing more things in me than I probably even recognize.I'm learning to live in obedience to his Spirit andfinding out more and more that that's where abundant life comes from and that the way His presence will increase in my life. I'm in love and just standing amazed! It's been an amazing two weeks of starting to walk in the Spirit and I know it only gets better. I'm getting hungrier and more expectant and I'm just all in!

Oct 1, 2010

The Prayer Room

The Harding Prayer Room above the Student Center in Shores Chapel has been my project for the past couple weeks and I wanted to share it with you guys. So here is a little bit about the major elements of the Prayer Room:





Prayer Journal We want people to share their experiences with God. Testimony is probably our greatest tool in telling people about Christ and letting them know that He is real and present. People share how God has worked in their lives and pour out their hearts to Him and allow us to pray for them.
Harding Wall The heart of the Prayer Room is Harding. It was started by a Harding student, made possible by Harding faculty, created by Harding students, is primarily for Harding students as well as staff and faculty, and is kept up by Harding students. There have been prayers by people for years for there to be a prayer room on Harding’s campus and even prayers for one in Shores Chapel where it is currently located. We want Harding kids to pray, to learn to press in and seek God, and to be changed by his Spirit as they are seeking God. We want them to have a sense of intimacy with their Father. We believe that with an increase in prayer comes an increase in how much God uses Harding because we’re allowing Him to grow us, speak into our lives, and convict our hearts.
Prayer Wall The Prayer Wall is a place where hearts are poured out to God. There is no central theme planned for this wall; it is just for people to let whatever is inside of them out. There are prayers, quotes, lyrics, and scripture all on this wall and people just put whatever they feel led to.
Searcy Wall Harding is not the whole of what we’re about. Harding is a part of the larger community of Searcy. Being a Christian is about a whole lot more that just filling up on Jesus, going to church, and not doing bad things. We want to see kids get out of that mindset and start seeing Searcy as their community and a place that needs them and their light. Prayer is the starting place for this and is the fire that will keep their work going.
Nations Corner It’s important for us to pray for the nations. God said that if we ask for the nations he’ll give them to us. So the prayer room is a place where we we’re going to ask for the nations for Christ and gather together in prayer for them. A lot of times we become the answer to our own prayers…
Cross The center of everything is the cross. The cross paid for freedom from sin, deliverances from our sin nature, abundant life, healings, salvations, and deliverances from Satan’s work in our life in the manifestations of addictions, demons, depression, and all the rest. The cross is our source of life and is a joy to us and not something we should always be mourning
Identity Corner Depression is winning in so many people’s lives. People don’t know who they are in Christ and are so much less powerful because of that. If people know who they are in Christ and take a hold of this knowledge deep down inside then depression cannot stand and people will learn to be powerful and effective in the Kingdom. The identity corner a place for people just to meditate on who they are in Christ, look at themselves and know it’s true, and just allow the Spirit to speak those things into them. This place is essential to raising up disciples of Christ at Harding.
Justice Wall God desires justice. God requires justice because of who he is. He’s a God of justice and promises justice to us if we just press in and ask for it. He illustrates this in the parable of the unjust judge and he is a just judge. He will give us justice if we pray so we’re going to pray!
Kensett Wall Kensett is a community just outside of Searcy. This city has been put on the hearts of many people and we’ve been praying and contending for it and I want to invite Harding students to stand with us in prayer. Here is some information about the economic status of Kensett:






"The median income for a household in the city was $20,478, and the median income for a family was $26,161. Males had a median income of $22,763 versus $17,500 for females. The per capita income for the city was $11,049. About 26.3% of families and 30.6% of the population were below the poverty line, including 48.5% of those under age 18 and 21.4% of those age 65 or over." From Wikipedia

Salvations, Healings, Deliverances Wall The cross paid for a lot of things and Jesus prayed for the kingdom to come on earth as it is in heaven. Because of these things we can pray for healings, deliverances, and heart transformations and expect them! These are things that are on the heart of everyone because everyone has friends or family that is lost, everyone is either trapped in some consistent sin or knows someone who is, and everyone knows of someone who is in need of supernatural healing. God loves to give us these things so we want to agree with each other in prayer and band together about our individual concerns
Worship Walls This is the newest addition to the Prayer Room. I believe God is so so worthy of our praise. The Prayer Room is full of plac
es to cry out to God about issues where we want Him to move so I think it is important to set aside places to just tell Him how great, awesome, wonderful, beautiful, and powerful He is and just say how we love Him and why we think He is so great!

I love The Prayer Room and God set it up for me to take it over this year. I’m so glad He did because it is the delight of my heart! I hope it is a blessing to you and that it is a place where you can connect with God like never before, be filled with His Spirit, and where He just delights you as you delight in Him. We just want you to realize God’s desire for intimacy with his bride and for you to grow in that

"Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart."(Psalm 37:4 NIV)

Sep 6, 2010

Turning Point

I've reached a TURNING POINT in my life. I feel different begining this semester. Before school started there were a lot of prayers by a lot of people for Harding, the students and faculty, and Searcy. So I went into the year in prayer and on a mission. Instead of Harding helping me grow, Harding is now my mission field. All the people I meet and live with I intentionally try to influence and point to Christ. Instead of complaining about the feeling of religious lethargy the school needs prayer and intercession. It needs a band of radical Jesus followers to call them out of the lifeless following (sometimes) of religious rules and into the abundant life that Jesus has called us to with a personal relationship with Him and following his Spirit.

This year I take a hold of my relationship with Christ like never before.

This year I trust God and believe EVERY WORD of that crazy book called the Bible (have you read it?... it's bonkers)

This year I decide I love God's presence way more than sin in my life.

This year I'm intentional about my relationships.

This year I pray and believe.

This year I succeed in school.

This year I consistantly pray and fast.

This year I spend time with God every day.

This year I give everything I can in work and school and give my absolute best in prayer meetings, cell, and Church service

This year I jump off this easy college train-life of just going to class and having fun and start walking the path that Christ has already made for me and doing the work He has prepared in advance for me wherever that may take me.

Wherever this blog finds you, you're in a mission field. Your work, home, dorm, church, and community is your mission. God has one gigantic plan for the world and we all have a part to play. Be faithful in your part. Every part is important. If you feel that your part is small and doesn't matter remember the parable of the talents. God gives everyone something. If you're faithful with the mission He's given you he'll give you more. If you don't do anything with what you're given because you feel like it's insignificant and doesn't matter then that's all you will ever get. Be faithful with little and you will be trusted with more. Pray for your mission field everyday. Work on it intentionally everyday and continually fast for it.

The begining of this semester marked a turning point in my life. What needs to turn in your's? Turn the pages of the Book and the Spirit will turn your life. Always remember the main thing and the main thing is Jesus. Blessings

Jul 31, 2010

Pray. Fast. Try Tears. The Road to Passion for Jesus, Prayer, and a Sense of Desperation

Ever had a sleepless night? Well, looks like this one might be headed in that direction. It's about 2:45 in the morning and I've been trying to go to sleep since a little before midnight. I've tried every trick in the book and still... nothing. I believe this is mostly do to my brain running about 1000 mph so I decided the best thing to do would be to just get it out there. So here it goes:
Sincebefore the time I could comprehend anything, I've been learning about the Bible. I was taught all about it and about different stories and fact in it. I learned about the different doctrinal beliefs of the churches I grew up in and I'd have to say I was pretty much an expert on a lot of things. I learned a whole lot about the Bible but I honestly didn't care much until some of junior year and then my senior year of high school. Don't misunderstand, I wasn't a bad kid, it just didn't mean a lot. I knew a lot, I defended the things that I then believed fiercely, even to the point of tearing down some people, but I just didn't care. And you know, I honestly don't know if I cared during my senior year, but I started studying for myself.
I started to see God a whole lot differently. I remember reading the Bible when I was younger and coming across things that didn't match up with what I believed. I would think, "Wow, I must just misunderstand what this is saying," or, "This must be corrected somewhere else." And once I started reading the Bible more than one proof text at a time, I started to learn Truth! It was exciting but at the same time I remember reading one night and throwing my Bible to the ground because something I had believed so strongly my entire life was just proven wrong. That can be frustrating.
So I went on to study Bible at Harding University where I just finished my freshman year and sophmore year is quickly approaching though I don't know where I'll be for sure. But while at Harding my eyes have been opened to a whole lot bigger and more powerful God then I've ever known. Like people were being healed in Jesus name in front of my eyes. I saw a ten year old girl with a fractured arm that she got the day before on a trampoline walk into a coffee shop where we were worshiping. Someone prayed for her and she was moving it all over the place pain free. I saw another kid's hand get healed in the back of a prayer meeting. Like where was this my whole life. And there is so much more than physical healings that God still does today and it blew me away. I had studied this before and knew it could be true but have honestly been turned off by Benny Hinn and his compadres. But Jesus is alive and He's working today.
Then there are the disciplines of prayer and fasting that are so very powerful. They draw us so close to God and can unleash His power in mighty ways if we just have faith and the right heart. I never really prayed before except before I went to sleep or when the family did before dinner. But the prayer room became my favorite place on campus and it changed my heart. I used to spend over an hour a day in there and I could literally see my heart changing. There are specific things that I could point out that are very different than before. That's what happens when you are in communion with God consistantly and you give Him your heart, tell him He has your heart. His Spirit changes you (Rom 8:13)
This was all awesome but then we get to present day. I'm honestly pretty frustrated. I've been asking for a few things for a while. One is to know God's desire and purpose for me in life and I haven't gotten a clear answer. I've also been asking for spiritual giftings like so many of my friends have but... nothing.
The other night we were worshiping and praying and I was asking God about these things and I started to feel terrible. I was physically feeling sick and didn't feel well emotionally either. Talking it out with a friend, I believe God was saying, "It's not Me, it's you." I've realized that even though my reading and sermon intake has been high this summer, my prayer life has been skimpy if anything. I haven't fasted even one day. And I just realized I've pretty much lost all passion. So I've been kind of at a loss for a few days at what to do. But I believe I've figured it out.
I'm reading this book called Why Revival Tarries by Leonard Ravenhill and it is outstanding but definiatly a seemingly harsh view but from an understanding of Truth. In it He points out that theologically degreed preachers are worthless without a passion for Jesus, prayer, and a sense of desperation. That kind of hit me obviously.
Talking to a friend she pointed out that if you want spiritual gifts you have to be desperate and want Jesus more than anything. And that only comes in the midst of prayer. So passion for Jesus, prayer, and a sense of desperation... sound familiar?
If you want God to use you and place a calling on your life that will come with passion for Jesus, prayer, and a sense of desperation.
Very truthfully I don't feel a passion for Jesus right now (is it okay to be honest?). I don't have a passion for prayer anymore. I don't feel desperate for Him or His Kingdom. For years I've stuffed myself with learning and trying to find and/or prove the Truth only to become a calloused person who knows about Jesus and various true and false doctrines.
So what do I do? I follow the example of those who have gone before me and my own experience. I start praying again and stop going the easy route of just listening to a sermon and counting that as God time. And I pray with passion. How do I get back the desperation? Well in the words of those old revival preachers, "Try tears." I pour my heart out to God more and more and more until passion comes. I heard of an old revival preacher who would occasionally loose passion for prayer. You know how he would fix it? Prayer. He went into his room and prayed until he once again had passion. I need to fast, to set myself apart and learn to rely on God and show Him that I'm serious about Him. With passionate prayer comes passion for Jesus. With passion for Jesus comes passion for the things He cares about and we become desperate for those things with the tears and being on our faces praying earnestly for His Kingdom to come. With passion for Jesus, prayer, fasting, and desperation comes a call on my life and spiritual giftings. But the main thing is Jesus. The main thing is Him being glorified.
Jesus... I want to know You again. Jesus is the reason we're all here. Jesus is what the signs point to. Jesus is why the church was created. He's mighty and so worthy of our worship and adoration. Just recognizing those things brings passion for Him.
JESUS